I’m sure you’re wondering what kind of adventures in health have been occurring. And, what could a little box of business mean? Well, let’s just say that the least favorite health test for women over 50 came due! Ya know the “C” word – colonoscopy!!
So, I am going to be honest and admit that I have put this test off for a couple of years. COVID definitely helped me last year, but at my latest doctor appointment, there was no putting it off. To my great delight however, since I have no risk factors, I was offered the option to use Cologuard, and I jumped on that train real quick!
Now, let me stop right here and issue my disclaimer: This post is for entertainment purposes only. I am not giving health advice nor do I receive any compensation or have a relationship with Cologuard. Okay, let’s get on with my adventure
In The Beginning
On my way home from the doctor’s office, I felt very excited that I was going to be able to accomplish this important health screening without actually having a colonoscopy. I wasn’t quite sure how it worked, but my insurance covered it, doc prescribed it, and I was going with the flow! (Bad pun!)
It only took a couple of days before I started receiving emails, texts and phone messages from Cologuard to inform me that my “box” was on its way and instructions would follow. That was when I started to think this may not be as easy as the TV commercials indicate!
About three weeks after my doctor visit, “my box” arrived. Delivered by my UPS driver along with several Amazon packages as well. I will admit that I was a little embarrassed about “my box”. Seems like to much information for my favorite UPS guy to know about me! LOL
The good news is that the “box” is not marked with giant neon letters stating what it is. The logo is simple and discreet and I secretly hope he didn’t really notice it! I realize that I am not being very mature, just keeping it real! You know, just wanting to keep “my business” to myself!
Anyway, I didn’t have time to deal with the “box” immediately, so I put it on my desk for the next day. Procrastinating……well maybe just a little.
While “the box” may have been sitting quietly on my desk, my digital world was blowing up with instructions on “next steps”. Wow, emails, text messages and phone calls came directing me to read the instructions, watch the video, and open the box.
Being a rule follower, I did all of the above. There was no turning back. I must embrace the process of getting “my business” into “the box”.
Truthfully, the process is quite simple and they do an excellent job of answering every possible question you could have. The steps are easy, including the return process. The only factor to consider is that there is a time frame for return. “The box” must be returned to UPS for overnight delivery. With that in mind, I made a plan to complete the test the following week.
Just Do It
No more stalling, it was time to just do it. As I thought the whole process through, I decided that Wednesday was the perfect day for “business in a box”. You see, for years, my daughters and I have little affirmations that we declare for each day of the week and Wednesday is “WINNING WEDNESDAY”.
Not only was I going to “just do it”, but I was going to be a “winner” as well. That’s because we are all winners on Winning Wednesday. Yes, I did need to hype myself up for this task–again, acknowledging my lack of maturity.
My plan was set as follows: do it, deliver it, done. The “do it” was easy. Now to tackle the delivery. I had the option to have my UPS guy pick it up, but that just felt too weird. Instead I opted to take it to the local UPS store and then go on to run some errands.
The plan was good, however, my social anxiety cranked up at the thought of taking my special “box” and handing it off to the fine folks at UPS. So, I came up with a plan to ease my anxiety/embarrassment.
I decided that if one is going to drop off a “box of business”, then one must be dressed for success. Since it was “Winning Wednesday”, I decided to dress like a winner and most importantly, to take my anxiety medication. Just in case I had to stand in line or have a conversation with someone while holding my “box”, I at least wanted to look great! Here are some pics of my outfit.
Upon getting in my car, I realized that one does not want their “box of business” to slide around while driving. The obvious solution was to strap it into the grands booster seat. Here is a pic of “the box”.
My city isn’t known for it’s great drivers, so I prayed for safe travels. I know, what you’re thinking, “that’s so silly“, but I couldn’t imagine having an accident and then explaining to an officer why my “box” must get to the UPS store ASAP!
Well, as expected, I arrived safely at the UPS Store and parked. I took a few pics to mark this moment. Faking confidence, I took “my box” and entered the store. Thankfully, there wasn’t a line. A lovely woman about my age stepped up to the counter and took possession of “my box”, pointed the RFID label reader at it, and handed me a receipt.
Just like that, it was finished. I thanked her, turned, walked out, thankful that every possible embarrassing thing I had imagined never happened! Now, to get groceries!
While I truly was slightly embarrassed about my “box of business”, I “flipped the script” and turned it into something fun. Who knew one small box could cause so much chaos in my mind! LOL
I hope my readers have enjoyed my adventures in health shenanigans. Planning for several years to go by before needing to deliver another “box of business”! Take Care and Best Wishes!