I believe everyone desires to have a long lasting and fulfilling relationship. Robby and I have been married for 25 years. Over the years many young couples have asked us what’s the secret to being married for so long? There is no short answer, but I believe there are 4 characteristics of a long lasting and fulfilling relationship.
First let me say that there is NO SECRET! Whether you are married or with a long time partner, you choose that relationship every day. That means that you choose to consider what’s best for your partner before yourself.
Any long term relationship is going to have good days and not so good days. Problems will come and go. The seasons of life will always be changing but these 4 characteristics are key to maintaining a long lasting and fulfilling relationship.
Friendship is the most important characteristic of a thriving marriage relationship. If you aren’t friends then there is no way you can stay together. Become friends first and let the romance organically develop.
Showing gratitude and being thankful for each other builds up the relationship. Knowing that you are appreciated for all you put in your relationship is a great reward. You can never give too much encouragement to your spouse or partner.
3. Don’t Be Negative
Criticism and nagging are relationship killers. You must respect and listen to the thoughts, feelings and needs of each other. Make time to check in to see if you are both on the “same page”. This is so important in regards to finances and parenting. You will never regret treating your spouse the way you would want to be treated.
Intimacy is the one area that changes the most as we age. Let’s be honest, eventually we all face the fact that our bodies don’t work as well in this area. The key is to realize that relationships are so much more than physical. Being present and spending time with each other is vital. Giving each other attention, or even a little space is how you stay tuned in with your spouse or partner.
So I guess the “secret” is out. If you want to maintain a long lasting and fulfilling relationship then you must …..
- First, Be Friends
- Second, Be Thankful
- Third, Be Encouraging and Kind
- Fourth, Be Present and Connected